Welcome to my world

Hey everyone and welcome to my lair.

You want to know what I believe? I believe anything is possible, that you can achieve a goal no matter how high.

That the world impossible is not a word, that red velvet cupcakes and cookies are a necessity. And that rambling, dreaming, and achieving are three things that get people success in this world.

I am currently on my first, yet to be edited draft of a novel I crafted that I am very passionate about: Obsessed.

You might hear more about it later. And it is over a 100,000 words, at least the word-count machine in microsoft word tells me so.

I love many tv-shows, including Smallville, Chuck, Nikita, and White Collar. I enjoy making characters, shipping TV couples, like Damon and Elena, Tess and Oliver, Michael and Nikita, Chuck and Sarah, etc, and writing fanfiction about my favorite couples on TV.

Quote of the Month

"Please tell me you didn't waste all that jet fuel to come down here and deliver me a lecture."--Oliver Queen

My Fanfiction

Just to be clear, I own no rights to any of these. The characters are their authors, belong solely to the authors and TV show creators. I love fanfiction, and here, in my blog, they will range from vampire, human, to Kryptonian, depending on the show.

The only rule: No bashing the characters. They have flaws, too, you know.'

Fanfic: Kiss or Diss

Pairing: Damon and Elena 

AU World and Universe: Vampire Diaries TV Show mid-season 3 
Description: Damon finally gains the nerve to kiss Elena Gilbert, and the elder Salvatore and his brother's ex-girlfriend decide to move on together.

"Because when I drag my brother from the edge and deliver him back to you, I want you to remember the things you felt while he was gone.”

“Why is it suddenly so important for everyone to keep me in check, Elena?”

“Because I don’t want you to be what other people think you are!”

“I shouldn’t have left. I promise you, I will never leave you again.”

“I think you’re going to be the one to save him from himself. It won’t be because he loves me, it’ll be because he loves you, Damon.”
 “We’re never going to get Stefan back, you know that, right?”

“Then we’ll let him go, okay? We’ll let him go.”

“Go to hell, Stefan.”

They were standing, side-by-side, on the Gilbert’s wrap-around porch. The two had survived hell and more through the day’s ordeal, but in the end Damon and Elena always survived. Not because of survival instincts or cunningly sharp wit, but because they had each other. That was how they had survived Klaus and originals, and Stefan and Katherine’s antics, and more.

“I feel like a horrible person,” Elena confessed, the words coming out, automatically; unbidden, at seeing Damon.

“You just saved his life, Elena,” Damon retorted, “Take it from me: estranged is bad, dead is worse.”

Elena paced across the length of the porch, guilt pouring through her.

“I just can’t stop thinking about what happened the last time I asked you to compel him.”

“He found out and he got over it,” he argued. “Again: not dead, Elena.” Damon stepped closer, his proximity making her giddy, nervous, and scared all at once. “He’s so lucky to have you as a sister.”

Elena stopped pacing, and turned towards him, her eyes wet with unshed tears.

“Thank you.”

 She was grateful to have him in her life; she couldn’t have done half the things she had over the summer and the course of the year, without Damon’s assistance and constant reassurances that they were doing the right thing. 

And over that time, she had fallen for Damon more than she’d imagined possible. 

He was everything she’d once fought against, and now Elena Gilbert honestly couldn’t imagine her life without him. 

Damon was the anchor that kept her steady and sane, and she would have sunk to the bottomless pit of despair long ago without his help.

“No problem, Elena.”

He was brushing it off, as if being the hero and saving her time and time again was nothing, like it didn’t matter. 

“Not just for this, Damon,” Elena shook her head; he’d misunderstood. “For everything,” the Petrova doppelganger elaborated, “I don’t know what I’d do if you weren’t here.”

Damon shifted, turning his body away from her, his fathomless eyes dark with guilt. “You should know this, Elena."

He said, clearly shaken by her words. 

“Stefan didn’t screw us over. He screwed us over...but he had a good reason.”

“What?” Elena demanded, confused. 

What good reason could be possibly have to save Klaus, kill their master plan, and run off like a dog with his tail between his legs, less than wise and nastier than ever?
“He saved Klaus to save me,” Damon revealed. “And he stole the coffins to get even.”

Damon met her eyes, briefly, and then, he turned and started to walk off, heading toward the porch steps.

“Damon?” Her voice stopped him, clear and ringing. “If he did it to protect you, then why would he even do that?” Her brows furrowed, deeply in thought.  “What does that even mean?” 

His jaw clenched in irritation of his brother’s earlier actions, and he turned toward her, his face displaying an array of storming emotions.

“What does it mean?” He echoed. “It means I’m an idiot.” His voice strained with emotion. “...because I thought for one second that I wouldn’t have to feel guilty anymore.” 

“Guilty for what?” 

Elena was torn, confused, and exhausted. 

“Wait,” she interrupted. “What are you talking about? Guilty for what?” 

His eyes were tormented, burning with emotion. “For wanting what I want, Elena.”

Damon had thrown her words back in her face and they were like a slap of cold water as her eyes opened to the truth depths of his feelings for her.


He was more than a friend that was clear. They had gone past friendship long ago; she’d just opened her blinders too late to realize it.

Why he did what he did for her. How he time and time again was saving her, even when she so thoughtlessly ran into the arms of his little brother. 

Damon loved her.
Damon Salvatore, conqueror, vampire, and ex-lover of an evil slut vampire who never loved him the way he deserved. He loved her passionately... deeply....blindly...recklessly.   

He’d never painted her in soft, light colors that Stefan had. He painted in reckless abandon, smearing his fingers and turning into an integral part of her life with messy reds, and royal purples and bold blacks that left her breathless.

It was stunning, wonderful, and scary all at once. She didn’t know how to respond. She was broken, and messed up, but he was too. So didn’t that mean, that she could forgo all the reasons she’d thought up to prevent him from getting so close to her, and allow him in and revel in something that could be great, if not slow in unfurling.

Damon nodded. “I know,” He was already steeling himself, for her evident rejection, prepared for another declaration of love for his little brother, “Believe me I get it, you’re my brother’s girl.” 

He didn’t sound bitter, rather he was resigned, as if Damon thought for all the charm he’d laid on her—he could never have her. Almost as if he, he believed that he didn’t deserve her. 

But she’d seen the good in him when no one else had, and right now, Elena warred with herself, between throwing herself at him, telling him to stop, or allowing him to walk away.

His tall, black-clad form was disappearing down the steps, and then, he stopped and in several quick strides was at her side. 

He was right in front of her now, his face mere centimeters from hers. “No, you know what? If I’m going to feel guilty about something, I’m going to feel guilty about this!”

Elena didn’t panic, didn’t move away, all she had time to do was register Damon’s hands gripping her face, not roughly, but with a gentleness that gave her hope. 

Then, he kissed her, pressing his mouth to hers and it was unlike the last one they’d shared. There was no force in the kiss, no desperation, no rejection. This was their moment.

She stood shock still, unable to do anything but allow his lips to move over hers. They were warm, soft, and utterly disarming. 

The shock quickly morphed into a passion that surprised Elena, as she kissed him back, her hands sliding upwards to clasp his.

Kissing Damon Salvatore was a pleasurable, exquisite experience she would have to indulge in more. 

When they finally parted, their breathing labored, she lifted dazed eyes to his, trembling slightly. The shock of kissing him wore off, but the ghost of his lips over hers didn’t. 

His lips curved up slightly as his dark eyes met her own. “Goodnight.”

Damon sounded as breathless as she felt, and her own heart swelled, warming, at the sight of him.

He walked off, his casual smirk in place, and she stayed right where he’d stood, and then, headed into the house.

She’d lost her only family and had Damon compel him to leave town to save him. But it was for the better. Besides, she had something else to look forward to, and it didn’t involve Stefan in the least.

They were moving on. Stefan had, and it was high-time Elena did herself. Starting with the elder Salvatore brother.


Fanfic: Turning off the switch

Pairing: Damon and Elena/ Damon and Rebekah

AU World and Universe: Vampire Diaries TV Show mid-season 3 

Description: The aftermath of episode 3.14 of vampire diaries, Damon and Elena's fight hurts Damon, so he turns off the switch for a night with a surprising companion.

“I can’t be what people want me to be. What she wants me to be.”

“I care about you, Damon...I do, but I love Stefan it’ll always be Stefan.”

“We kissed and now it’s weird.”

“Go to hell, Stefan!”

“I kissed Damon, and I’m not telling you because I feel guilty about it. I’m telling you because I feel guilty that you don’t know.”

“It’s right, it’s just not right now.”

Damon cut across the Lockwood’s extravagant ballroom, reaching Elena in several quick strides, looking dashing in a traditional black tux. “Elena, did you get what you want?”

Elena turned, her floor-length black dress swishing as she faced him, her eyes meeting his, and the Petrova Doppelganger swallowed hard. “Actually, yes.”


Damon’s hand locked around her arm. “Tell me on the ride home. We’re leaving.”

“No. Damon, let go of me.”

 Elena said, stubbornly, shaking him off.

She saw the hurt waft across the elder Salvatore brothers face, and immediately regretted her words. “Okay, I’m sorry I had to cut you out of the plan,” Elena amended, quietly.

“There shouldn’t have been a plan, Elena,” Damon argued, heatedly. “You shouldn’t be here.”

“Do you think I like going behind your back?” she demanded. “I don’t, Damon. But if I hadn’t asked Stefan then you would’ve tried to be the hero and ruin everything!” 

It was something Katherine would’ve said, and she didn’t need to look at his face to know what he was thinking, that they were more alike than she thought.

“Sorry for trying to keep you alive,” he shot back, sarcastically. “Clearly, Saint Stefan doesn’t give a crap anymore.”

“Now you’re mad at me for including Stefan?” Elena echoed in disbelief.

“No,” Damon corrected, his face softening slightly as his black eyes swirled with emotion. “I’m mad at you because I love you.”

There it was the scary, slow in unfurling declaration of love. Damon Salvatore had actually said it to her face. He’d said he loved her, the three powerful words that once made her legs turn to jelly.

 Suddenly, Elena couldn’t take it any longer and maybe that’s why she said what she said, hurting him badly with words like steel weapons as Katherine had. 

“Well, maybe that’s the problem,” she burst out.

Damon’s face crumpled.

Elena hurriedly back-tracked. “No, that’s not what I meant—“

“No, I got it Elena,” Damon cut her of abruptly, bitterly, his face a mask of stone, his expression unreadable. “I care too much, I’m a liability. How ironic is that?”


She looked like she was about to say more, when Caroline strode forward, her green dress swishing to and fro. “Have you guys seen Matt?” The blonde vampire questioned.

The tension between Damon and Elena couldn’t be cut with a knife, much less a meat cleaver as Damon turned away, blending into the sea of people, and Elena reluctantly faced Caroline, putting on her bravest smile.

She hadn’t ever meant for a plan to form, for her to go behind Damon’s back with Stefan and allow the younger Salvatore to temporarily break Damon’s back and neck, buying her time to speak with Esther.

But she needed that time, she needed to know what Esther had planned, and there might’ve been other ways to get Damon to be less over-protective, but there hadn’t been time for them. So Elena had lured him inside, and broken not only his trust, but his heart and his love.

Maybe that was why Elena was feeling as guilty as she was.

Damon’s words echoed in her mind: You and Katherine have more in common than just your looks.
He was right, she wasn’t as bad as Katherine Pierce aka Katerina Petrova, but she was playing with both Salvatore’s hearts and dancing a deadly game that she’d never wanted to play. And in that game, only one Salvatore could win her heart. 

And the question was: Did she want the elder Salvatore or the younger Salvatore?
“Look Rebekah you’re really fun and pretty and all, but I really need you to leave me alone.”

Rebekah sat alone, thinking of the human boy Matt’s rejection, and nursing her thoughts with alcohol and self-pity.

“Burn. Rejected by the captain of the football team,” came a silky voice behind her.


She turned to see Damon, sauntering inside the Mystic Grill, a bottle of bourbon clutched in his hands.

 Damon grinned nastily, sliding onto the stool beside her as he tipped the bottle of bourbon to his lips, drinking deeply. “Welcome to adolescence.”

Rebekah rolled her eyes. “Shut up, Damon,” the original muttered. 

Her eyes fell, focused solely on the scratched wood of the bar’s counter. “I knew I should’ve killed him.” Her voice became resentful. “Mother wouldn’t let me.”

Damon reached for a new bottle of bourbon, uncapping it faster than the human eye could follow. 

“Well,” Damon said, as hollowly as she felt, pouring her a shot glass of bourbon. “—never let people tell you what to do.”

He nudged the shot glass towards her awaiting hand, and Rebekah downed it in a single gulp, relishing the burn.

Damon repeated the process, his shot glass drained of alcohol in mere seconds.

“Besides,” he added, with a smirk. “You would’ve broken him in a second.”

Rebekah’s jaw clenched in irritation, “Are you suggesting I can’t be gentle?” she challenged.

“No,” Damon amended, pouring himself another bourbon. “I’m just saying you should find someone a little more durable, that’s all.”

Rebekah shifted toward him, her lips pursed like an innocent damsel, long lashes fluttering. “And who would that be?” 

Damon gave her a long once over, vague interest in his eyes. He needed a distraction from Elena, and she needed to forget the human who rejected her. Perhaps this could work out for both of them.

Seconds later, they were on each other like animals, stumbling against the wall of the Salvatore Mansion her lips latched to his, his hands tangled in her long hair as she tore off his tuxedo jacket.

Rebekah clawed at his shirt, shredding it under her long nails and tearing it off his body in one swift movement, without breaking their duel for dominance. 

Suddenly, Damon had her pinned against the wall, his lips seeking any available patch of skin, as he tore her expensive dress to rags.  And surprisingly Rebekah didn’t argue, consumed with his kiss.
Damon knew that he shouldn’t be doing this, that Elena was going to be disappointed in him, but her words had hurt him too much to care. Ignoring several stronger impulses involving Elena, he allowed himself to drown in Rebekah, because turning the switch off for a night, was better than feeling. 

There was only so much hurt a man could take before he snapped and Elena had sent him off the deep-end one too many times.  

Fanfic: The Tollie Adventures Part 1

Pairing: Tess Mercer and Oliver Queen

AU World and Universe: Smallville

Description: The aftermath of a Luthorcorp explosion, leads our favorite hero and anti-hero to get trapped in an elevator together, where they must talk out their issues with each other until help arrives. Before it does will Tess realize how strong her feelings still are for Oliver? Or will their last chance be their only chance and a failed attempt at that?

Days, months, and years can pass as time flies by but you never forget your first love. They stay with you, every-day the ghosts of past, the thing holding you back from truly living life to the fullest.

The person you desire to be with, who trampled your heart, and willingly broke it for a job offer or another woman or more specifically in Tess’s case, a slutty cocktail waitress not worth two cents of her time to moan over.

You can try to move on, you can cross oceans, deserts, even Mount Everest and your first love will stay be there, and re-open fresh wounds as quickly as they had come and gone over the years.

There was no safe and easy way to be rid of them, you could under-go the most life-threatening of surgeries to erase them, and your first love would still be flashing memories left to right, if not a little blankly.

The real question is: How long do you wait for someone to come back? How long before you just crumble and give all hope up?

 How long can you survive before your heart turns to blacken ashes and there is nothing left but despair and misery and a desperate need for revenge?   The answer is nothing; you have to deal with that pain for the rest of your life.

Tess Mercer had always considered herself to be a realist. Words like love and happily ever after meant nothing to her, not after Oliver Queen had ridden off on that tweaked Ducati into the rising sun, and left her all alone, with no one but herself to depend on.

What had been worse was days before that terrible turning point in her life; he had cheated on her with a cocktail waitress, whom she dubbed, Slutty Anna.

She once considered her half-brother Lex Luthor to be her newest hero, the one to save her from her drowning depths of misery.

He’d saved her life from more than drowning in her loss of Oliver—he’d literally brought her to safety in a Luthorcorp jet, when the explosion had hit and the samples had been destroyed, she’d been the one he’d chosen to get to safety above all the others left to die.

Waking up in a hospital bed, tubes and IV’s attached to every part of her achingly slow body, he’d offered her his hand and a job.

She quit marine biology, packed her bags, and was swept into the world of Luthor’s, lies, and mayhem.

Lex had given her a purpose, a roof over her head, an annual salary that was more than generous, and a Christmas bonus that allowed her to be afforded all the luxuries her childhood had not. She dressed to the nines and owned a massive closet most women would kill over.

She had a fabulous day job and office with a miraculous view of Metropolis’ skyline. Best of all; she was beginning to find herself again.

She was no longer the little girl, Mercy, who had her heart ripped out by Oliver Queen, but she wasn’t Tess Mercer anymore. Who was she?

She didn’t really know, but she was going to find herself again, once and for all.

She wasn’t that scared, naïvely trusting little girl who desired to save the planet, one ocean and whale protest at a time.

She still desired to save the planet, but she could forgo some people, and a little integrity along the way to do it. If it meant abandoning the human race along with Superman, it’s savior, she would do it, and put all her trust in Major Zod.

As long as she got to live with a crystal clear view of the destruction on the winning side. She stayed, faithfully, by Lex’s side for longer than anyone ever had. She practically spent all her spare time in the Luthor Mansion, more so, than the former Luthor, Lana Lang.

Tess Mercer was no fool, but she trusted Lex Luthor enough to open up about her pain of Oliver and he in turn, revealed little details about himself and quirks of his ex-wife’s who ironically in love with his ex-best friend, Clark Kent.

The man who he spoke fondly, hatefully, and more of than anyone else in his past, a man more secretive and elusive than Lex himself.

A man who he believed to be the traveler, a savior to man-kind, and the Messiah to save them all.

Clark Kent, a man she wanted to know better. A man she wanted to see in action, and know all of his secrets.

A man who betrayed Lex, and in turn could hurt her more so than any other man, other than Oliver Queen with his self-righteous words in the later years to come.

When Lana left Lex, she’d been the one to pick up the pieces and gain his trust, only to be betrayed when Lana Lang opened her eyes to the true monster Lex was, and made her realize most of what she’d done for herself, had been wrong, and she was almost sorry to have met Lex.

But if she hadn’t met Lex or Oliver she would’ve never gone as far and to as many and great lengths as she had to get where she was today— She was now acting CEO of Luthor-Corp, and head of Mercer Media---only to be stuck in an elevator, nose to nose with her ex-lover Oliver Queen, years later.

  To think a ten-billion dollar merger with Ollie to spite Lex would lead to her to the person she despised and loathed most in an elevator of all things was shocking and beyond faintly irritating.

“I think you’re wrong,” Tess countered with a cool composure she was famed for by the media.

Then her composure cracked slightly for the first time as she continued unsteadily. “If you hadn’t pushed the button for the eleventh floor a billion times, we wouldn’t be in this mess, in the first place! It’s my sodding birthday and I have to spend it with you...in an elevator!” 

She punctuated the word with a wobbly jab to the chest.

Oliver Queen stood, half-naked from waist up and smirked.

She had stashed several bottles of alcohol in her purse, for a late celebration of her nightmare-riddled memories of her childhood as the illegitimate child of Pamela Jenkins and Lionel Luthor, tossed away like a bag of street trash—and decided to drink two of them, with him, in this very elevator—the moment they were trapped.

 But first she’d made him take off his shirt, because he’d been shirtless, with a year’s worth of stubble when they met on that island.

Finally, he’d been forced to snatch the last of the expensive scotch from her and stash it in the emergency box. He was the first to admit, that Tess had brought him back from the edge, more than once and found the hero inside him again.

He’d spent months getting wasted until he couldn’t feel anything, and she’d given him the kick in the pants needed to move on with his life.

She’d gotten him sober, she’d been by his side through everything, and that was the reason, he’d crammed himself in this elevator tonight.

So he could thank her properly, and see if there was still anything between them—just the smallest chance in hell that his Mercy was still there, somewhere, waiting to broken out of the ice queen’s vault.

Digging through his pockets, he popped the Advil into his mouth, washing them down with a gulp of scotch.

“Watch it, Queen,” she warned in a wobbly voice. “You’re getting rusty.”

 “Mercy,” he returned, using his pet name for her. Oliver knew how much she despised the pet name after he left her all those years, and he enjoyed the irritation it caused.

“But I bet this is the most valuable one of all,” commented the officer, turning the small photograph of Tess up to his eye-level. “Who’s she?”

 Taking the photo from the cop, Oliver fumbled over his words. “The one I let get away,” he cleared his throat. “Many years ago...Her name was Tess, but I prefer Mercy, because she gave me mercy when I needed it most...”

Back when I still thought I was a hero. Back when I thought nothing mattered, and I could do whatever a rich guy wanted to do, like playing robin hood as the Green Arrow and running motorcycles as fast as they could go into the night, after blowing up one of Luthor-Corp’s facilities, or even getting into a bare-knuckled fight, he had done it all, and now, he had no chance of getting Tess back.

“Don’t call me that,” she snapped, her eyes blazing. “I hate you and you hate me and we’re stuck in this elevator for who-knows-how-long, but that doesn’t mean we’re going to get in touch with our feelings. I’m not going to fall over you like a wounded puppy and you aren’t going to be the man I loved. So get over yourself, Oliver. 

“This time you can’t have what you want. I gave up all hope of you loving me back when I realized how naive I was to think a billionaire was worth the love I had devoted. You weren’t worth it. Your stock is worth less than you think of yourself right now. 

“And our past is over, as is this conversation. The line is drawn here,” she jabbed a finger at the left side of the wall. “That’s my side, that’s yours.” Tess motioned towards the right wall. “Stay on your side, Queen.”

 “I don’t hate you, Tess.”  


“I hate the person you’ve become. The girl I knew wouldn’t steal Star City Towers out from under me. The girl I knew hated corporate offices and mergers. The girl I loved wanted to save the world. She had big dreams, and freckles, and I loved everything about her. You ask why I call you Mercy, it’s because you were the girl who gave me mercy on the island when I needed it.”

His head bowed, eyes lowered in shame.  “I was the jerk who left you and I played a part in Mercy’s ultimate demise by serving you to Lex Luthor’s hands, but that doesn’t give you the right to write that piece of fiction in the paper about me being too wasted to stand when you and I both know it was the toxic flower.”

She pressed her lips together and nodded. “I wanted to be that girl so desperately, but I don’t know who she is anymore, and I’m not willing to bury the hatchet to make you feel good about yourself playing beer pong.”'

“Tell you what, Mercy, think about it. Think about the girl I lost, and whether any part of you misses her and when we get out of the elevator...if you find any part of her, talk to me.”

“Keep the bottle of wine, Oliver,” she snapped. “And your pants...you lost that chance with me the minute you left out that hotel door.”

“So that’s how it’s going to be, huh, Mercy? You’re going to take revenge a step further and what? Shoot me?” Oliver challenged. “You want to know why I left you; I’m the Green Arrow and learning that part of me, meant putting you in constant danger. 

“I didn’t think that you wanted that part of my life, that you’d support me as the hero instead of the billionaire, okay? You wanted the truth; there it is, Mercy. I was afraid of you!”

Tess blinked back tears, and slapped him hard across the face.

He wasn’t surprised she’d hit him. Tess often resorted to fighting and aggression when he crossed the line she had made to distance herself emotionally from him.
Then she did something that he never saw coming. 

Tess slammed into his hard body, backing him against the wall of the elevator, as her lips crashed onto his with startling force.

 He clutched at her desperately, one hand gripping her hip as the other slid into her hair, consumed with the passion of her kiss and the joy that came with holding her at last. 

Then all too soon, she broke the kiss, gasping for breath. 

“Sometimes you can be the stupidest man I’ve ever met,” Tess told him, bluntly. “I loved you, and when you love someone you support them, no matter the circumstances. If you knew me at all, you’d have known that I didn’t want just the billionaire, I wanted to get to know every part of you, including the Green Arrow.

“You weren’t scared of me, Oliver, you were scared of yourself. That’s why you walked away when things got interesting between us, because the only thing worse than learning every part of me, is learning about yourself.”

They were nose-to-nose now, glaring darkly at each other when the elevator doors opened, and a tech-crew came barreling in.

“Ms. Mercer, Mr. Queen, you okay?” 

They sprang apart and hastily gathered their things. 

“Just get us the hell out of here,” the two ex-lovers answered.

They hurried out of the elevator and into the lobby of the hotel, stopping at the rotating doors.

Oliver placed a hand on her back, and bent his lips near her ear. “So, about that kiss...?”

“That kiss didn’t mean a thing, Oliver. I had an itch and you scratched it.”

“Are you sure, Tess? I felt the old chemistry coming back in that kiss, so either your lying, or we have to try that again.”

“Let it go,” she repeated, insistently. “And let me leave. I’ve moved on, you should do the same.”

Tess turned to leave and he caught her arm, gently spinning her around to face him. “Call me crazy, Tess, but I think you felt more than you’re admitting. That night in the mansion proved it, the kiss only confirmed my suspicions.”

“And you fell into bed with the first slut that came your way all those years ago...who’s to say you wouldn’t do it again?”

“History won’t repeat its mistakes, twice, Tess. You of all people know that.”
She scoffed, and pulled her arm out of his grasp. “Chloe may fall for those one-liners but not me. I’m too smart to be seduced by you.”

“Chloe is a friend, nothing more,” he insisted. “You and I have always been more than friends, Tess, and we’ve been on this road for a long time. What do you say we trade in our road, for a new one with no Chloe, no past to haunt us?

"A clean-slate, no past only the present and a future in front of us...I know the girl I loved is somewhere there, behind all that Luthor nonsense, there’s the girl who wanted to save the world one ocean, one billionaire at a time...”

“That girl is long-gone,” Tess coldly replied. “Let her go, Oliver, because she’s not me. I’ve proven that time and time again. When are you going to let the past stay where it belongs?”

“I’m not leaving you again, Mercy. I gave up on us once, we’re older, wiser now. What’s stopping us from trying again? If all ends badly, what have you got to lose?”

“My heart.”

“Take the chance, one leap of faith, one date, that’s all I’m asking.”

“Pick me up at seven.” She drew her hand back, before he could touch her again. “Don’t make the same mistake twice, Oliver...this isn’t a date, and there will be no cocktail waitress this time...”

He grinned, the same charming grin she had fallen for all those years ago. “Eight it is, Mercy.”

“I like to work up an appetite before dinner, Queen,” Tess said. “Expect a fight before dinner’s served.

Oliver lifted his hand in a half wave, grinning slightly.  “I’m counting on it, Mercy...”

He watched, as she exited through the rotating doors and faded into the crowd of people gathering around Hotel Dumont. 

Maybe the past could be buried in a clean slate, maybe just maybe, Tess Mercer could learn to love him again.


 Fanfic: The Tollie Adventures Part 2

Pairing: Tess/Oliver.  Oliver/unknown cocktail waitress.

AU World and Universe: Smallville 

Description: Oliver and Tess broke up at one point. But how did the scene with the cocktail waitress play out and why? 

Inside the heart of every man
There is a lust you understand
And I'm just the same.

Oliver Queen had never meant for it to happen. He’d never meant to hurt the only girl he’d ever loved, his first save, the woman of his dreams. But he had, and he’d screwed up too badly to be forgiven this time.

Tess Mercer could’ve been the one. Oliver, was never one for commitments, and had hoped for their relationship to be brief, that he only had to give the briefest part of his heart to the lovely, freckled marine biologist. 

Tess had refused, and after a drunken moment of passion, they’d realized how much they depended on each other, how much they enjoyed each other’s company. 

Before he knew it, Oliver couldn’t take more than an hour away from her, he wanted her every minute of every day by his side, and she felt the same. 

She showed him there was more to life than his playboy ways and Tess became somewhat of a savior to the hero slash billionaire. 

She helped him when he was too drunk to stand, held him when the death of his parents became too much, and loved him when he didn’t deserve it.

But he’d gotten scared, emotional intimacy wasn’t his thing, and the closer he got to Tess Mercer, the more terrified he became. So Oliver Queen did what he did best and ran like hell for the first distraction possible.

That was how he wound up sleeping beside a slutty cocktail waitress, in his and Tess’ hotel room.

But he would never forget the look of pain that filled her face, the tears that flooded her eyes and streamed down her cheeks. The screaming that had escalated into blows.

She was like a hurricane, throwing everything she could find, from the silver candle holder to the pearl-handled knife—Tess Mercer destroyed everything she could get her hands on, and then she tore her rage into him. 

But she never raised her voice above a level-tone, there was hurt and accusation and evident pain as she spoke, but the rage had finally shot into a deep ache in her chest, that wouldn’t go away.

And when she did speak, it wasn’t to berate him yet. “Oliver, where the hell are your pants?” 

When all the love has gone away
And passion stares me in the face.
Could I walk away?"

Ashamed, Oliver picked his fallen clothes off the floor and dressed quickly.
Then, Tess’s words fell into him, like blows from a hammer. 

“What the hell is this, Oliver?” She demanded, her voice rising. “What happened to words like, ‘I love you, Mercy.’ Was that a lie too? Did you honestly think that cheating on me was easier than breaking up with me?”

Oliver couldn’t meet her eyes. Because if he looked in her eyes, he would see the hurt he’d caused the only woman who’d ever meant to something to him.

But if he had looked, he would’ve seen that if he had told her the truth; Tess Mercer would’ve eventually forgiven him. That they could’ve made their relationship work, that he could’ve gained her trust again. 

But he was stupid and naïve and foolish, so he said, simply, “I don’t know. I’m sorry, Mercy.”

He reached for her and she backed away, hurt and vulnerability swirling in her eyes. “Don’t you come near me!”

“I’ll do whatever it takes to fix this. To fix us.”

“It’s too late for that, Oliver.”

“You know how much you mean to me.”

“Do I?” 

Tess’s eyes fell to the floor, as she toyed with her auburn hair. 

“Tonight has made me think, that maybe Oliver Queen and Tess Mercer weren’t meant to be. That I am his first save and nothing more.”

“You know you’re much more than that,” he argued. 

Eventually, their argument stopped, it was as if she hadn’t the strength to go on any longer, as if the emotion and physical exhaustion of their fight had taken its toll on her.

Because, when he came out of their master bath, Oliver found Tess asleep, fully-dressed on the king-sized bed, her tear stained face pale against the moonlight.
Forgive my thoughts when I'm asleep
Forgive these words I'm yet to speak
I feel so ashamed.

That night he packed his bags and as he lay beside her, his arms wrapped tight around her fragile frame—Oliver Queen made a choice.

To be better than he was, to be the hero that maybe deep down was in him, and to never let someone down as badly as he let Mercy down.
Devotion save me now
I don't wanna stray from the hallowed ground
I'll turn temptation down.
I'm asking you to take me to safety this time.

Somewhere between five thirty and six am, Oliver dropped a final kiss to Tess Mercer’s forehead, and left their hotel room, never to see her again.

He was too much of a coward to say goodbye. But then again, all good things had to come to and end. And this was unfortunately one of them.

I’m sorry, Mercy.

Steeling himself, he walked out into the bright outside of the Metropolitan Hotel, and slid into the awaiting green stretch limo. 

She deserved better than him. She’d find a man, hopefully, who would never ever do what he’d done.

“Where to, Mr. Queen?” 

Shaking his thoughts loose, he rolled down the partition. “Jenna,” he said, making his voice brisk. “Just drive.”

Devotion, devotion...
I'm a slave unto the mercy of your love
For so long, I've been so wrong
I could never live without you.

As the car rolled forward down the street, he forced thoughts of his first real love out of his mind, and out of his heart. 

 Fanfic:The Nerd and The Spy: Chuck and Sarah's Love Story


AU World and Universe: Chuck 

Description:Chuck and Sarah have survived Shaw, Agent X and The Ring. But can they survive Sarah losing her memories and forgetting him and their life together? Even if it means Sarah leaving him, forever?

“Chuck, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I don't care if you have the Intersect or not. Without you, I'm nobody. I'm nothing but a spy. Come back to me, Chuck. I want to marry you.”
“That's just something I like to keep in my suitcase at all times. Whether I'm in Portugal, or Russia or Burbank, this uh, make me feel comfortable and safe. Look, I know that it's taken me longer than a normal girl. But you should know that you're my home, Chuck. You always have been.”
"Going on missions, saving the day, being heroes, mostly though I want to be with you. At your side always.”
“ But earlier on in my... drunken haze... I realized I hadn't asked you a really important question. I'd like to ask you now if that's okay. Just once for the record... Sarah, do you love me? Wow. I'm, uh, in my underwear. I'm sitting in my underwear holding a plastic guitar. There's a very good chance I'm making a complete fool of myself, isn't there?”

“I probably should put some pants on.”

“No, Chuck...Yes.”

“What?...uh, What?”

“Chuck I fell for you a long, long time ago. After you fixed my phone, and before you started diffusing bombs with viruses. So, Yes.”

“Yeah, uh, I get that, I do. But this is not my future. This is what I’m doing right now. But I will get my life back. I trust you of course I do. I know.”
“I’m on your side, Chuck.”
“Sarah, I don't want to elope. Ok? I just don't! Not at all. Not even the slightest bit. I've always wanted a big family wedding and now more than ever- so no. My answer to eloping is no!”
“Look, no matter how much I want to be a spy. I want Chuck more.”
“I'm a spy. I can't even process the idea of having kids right now. And I need to say something to him before he runs away with the idea.”
“What do you have to lose? In a week, you're going to be undercover somewhere in some place like Jakarta, in a knife fight with some evil doer and in that exact moment you're going to wish you would have spent one night of fun with me.”
“Thanks... Um, General. What I'm trying to say is that because my relationship with Sarah is so... you know, we're - we're close. We care about each other. That's- that's what I'm trying to say. And - and I know it's not protocol or whatever but it's those feelings that wound up saving my life.”
“I read people. That's the only real talent I got. One thing I know is that kid would never betray you. I made a $10 million bet that he loved you... Turns out I was right.”
“We could run? You and me. We go now and never look back. I have some money saved up. I’d have to get us some new identities. Create an escape route. For now go to the training facility in Prague. Then meet me in the Nadrazzi Train Station in 3 weeks time at 700. And then I can figure out the rest later. I’m saying I want to be a real person again, with you. That’s what you want, right? I mean this is it, Chuck. Will you run away with me?”

“Poor bastard. Moron that’s still in love with you. Oh come on. I don’t know what happened between you two. Don’t want to. Just saying I’ve seen men with their fingernails pulled off treated more humanely than you did that kid. Job’s over, put him out of his misery.”
“Who? I promise you, Casey. He is not in love with me. I was just doing my job.”
“Stop. I—acted impulsively. And it’s a mistake I don’t usually make. And it won’t happen again. You’re a spy now, Chuck...You have to keep your feelings to yourself.”

“Are you still in love with him, Sarah?”

“No. Not anymore. It’s just—he’s not going to be the same person again.”

“So you and Shaw, you’re going to be...living together? Is that it? Are you guys real serious or what?”

“Uh, I don’t know. It’s...it’s different.”

“Different how?”

“Then with you.” 

“Chuck has to kill him.”

“What? Chuck has to kill him? You’re giving him the Red Test tonight? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because you would’ve said you couldn’t be a part of it.”
“I can't... I can't be a part of it. And I won't! You have to meet him. I can't make him do something like that. I'm not sure I want him to be able to do something like that.”
“Sarah, when all this started, I didn’t think I had a chance of ever becoming a real spy. But if I can’t do this, then then what’ll I be?”

“Then you’ll be Chuck, and there’s nothing wrong with that...That’s all I can say. I’m sorry. The rest is your decision.”

“There's something you need to know about me, Shaw. There's nothing in my life that I care about more than my friends and my family. Of course, I don't expect you to understand being the spy that you are. I'm sure that you don't care about anybody.”
“Families and friends make us vulnerable. Make us unable to pull the trigger. And that puts everyone in greater danger. Just ask your partner here. She'll tell you the same thing.”

“Sometimes it helps to know you've got something to lose.”

“Well, it's actually really pretty. And you know, I never thought I'd say this, but - I felt like a princess.”

“Rescuing Bartowski’s is our business.”

“There is no curse, You're not your father, Chuck. You're not fated to be alone, or to hurt anybody. Those things happened because of the choices that people make - that you make.”

“You're right. I'll never do it again - leave without you. The Bartowski family curse ends here -and - and not with me - with us.

“And Chuck? If you ever go out alone again just remember - I'm a trained assassin.”

“I didn’t fall in love with James Bond, Chuck. I fell in love with you.”

“Chuck, you're a gift. You're a gift I never dreamed I could want or need. And every day I will show you that you're a gift that I deserve. You make me the best person I could ever hope to be. And I want to spend, and learn, and love the rest of my life with you.”

Sarah Walker didn’t know what to do or how to think for one of the first few times in her life. 

She didn’t remember much about Chuck Bartowski, the man who called her his wife, the man who had willingly taken a bullet for her and the man who had dreams for their future that she no longer remembered. 

She didn’t remember falling in love with Chuck, let alone marrying him, but he was sweet and goofy and she cared for him. But Sarah Walker didn’t know if she could fit into his life again, if he really was the one for her. 

But maybe, just maybe, if she could trust him again, she’d find the love she’d spent all her life not searching for.

Sarah remembered bits of her first cover job, of Chuck disarming the bomb using the Irene Demova virus, of carving their names into their “dream house”, of working at the Winerlicious, but all the talk of future, kids and love, she couldn’t grasp. 

And yet somehow, she needed him as much as he needed her. They were from two different worlds and irrevocably tied.

 She knew she had hurt him, that not remembering their love and their plans for their future together was killing him, and yet Chuck Bartowski stood beside her, faithful, and unwavering in his determination to prove his love for her.

Maybe that was the start of their love, the sign that all was not lost, that maybe they could make new memories to replace the old ones.

Sarah’s musing stopped abruptly, as Chuck dropped to the sand beside her.  “I was hoping you’d be here.”

“This place is important isn’t it?” Sarah wondered, aloud.
“Yeah, yeah, very much.” He smiled, fondly up at her. “This is actually where you told me I was going to be okay.”

“I need you to do one more thing for me,” Sarah requested, her eyes lifting to meet his. 


“Trust me, Chuck.”

“That I could trust you,” Chuck continued, growing more confident. “And that’s exactly what I’m doing now. I’m asking for you to trust me.” He blinked back tears. “Sarah, I don’t want anything from you, I just need you to know that wherever you go...I will always be there to help you.” 

His mouth quirked up at the sides, a mixture of sadness and pain, as a lifetime of love for her shone in his warm, brown eyes. “Someone you can call, whenever. Trust me, Sarah...I'm here for you always.”

Sarah’s eyes tangled with his, and she knew that she wanted, no needed to hear their story. If he loved her as much as he claimed, he would retell her story, and she would feel something, anything, about their life together. 


Startled, Chuck looked at his wife of over ten months, smiling, albeit a bit painfully. “Yeah?”

A ghost of a smile drifted across Sarah’s lips, undeniable curiosity plaguing her. “—tell me our story,” Sarah requested.

The sadness went out like a light, and Chuck seemed to glow on the inside and out. “Yeah, yeah, where to begin? It started out with a guy who worked at Buy more.”
Her manicured eyebrows rose at the mention of the electronics store and Sarah briefly glimpsed an image of Chuck dropping a phone, slack-jawed at the sight of her, his Batman reference forgotten.

“And then one day an old college friend of his sent him an email filled with secrets...And then the next day, his life really changed when he met a spy named Sarah.” Emotion pooled in his eyes. “And he fell in love.”

So he told her.   

Chuck told her each of their missions, of the dances they’d shared, of the love that bloomed between them. And Sarah could picture how she had fallen for Chuck Bartowski, this beautiful, wonderful, and deeply sensitive nerd, who only wanted her to be happy.

 Chuck told her of the obstacles they’d faced, of Shaw and The Ring, of Fulcrum and Beckman, and the partnership she, Chuck, and Casey had shared. Of the days leading up to the realization that they loved each other, and of their marriage, and the wedding day, of Roan Montgomery, their first kiss and her talk of eloping. 

He told her every detail down to her losing her memory one by one, thanks to the faulty intersect and their final villain’s evil intentions to tear them apart permanently and have her kill her husband.

Sarah laughed, and cried, and wiped tears from her eyes. This was something she’d never dreamed of, falling in love with her asset, and finding the one person she was meant to be with. And not remembering their love.

Then, he stopped and smiled at her, and she felt moisture pool in her eyes, her heart thundering, as she stared at the man she had spent five years loving and realized something: Memories or no Memories, they had a life together and if anything, she wanted to spend every moment, regaining and making new memories with her husband. If they had to, they could get remarried.

But it would be okay, because Chuck and Sarah always found their way back to each other. No matter the circumstances or the consequences.

“You know Morgan has this crazy idea,” Chuck mentioned, shifting towards her.
“What is it?” Sarah asked.

She couldn’t help herself, seeing that goofy grin plastered across his face, and the love that mirrored her own.

“He thinks,” Chuck shook his head, their eyes locking. “That with one kiss, you will remember everything.”

Sarah grinned, despite herself. “One magical kiss?” she questioned, amusedly.

Chuck back-tracked, faster than she thought possible .”I know it’s...”


Sarah interrupted, her eyes mirroring his. “Kiss me.”

 Chuck leaned forward, his body angled toward hers, and kissed her. It was as explosive as he had described their first kiss to be, mixed with a passion she hadn’t recognized herself capable of.

 His hands pressed against the side of her face, and her hands tangled through his unruly, brown locks, and she fell into the kiss as easily as one’s hand would pull a gun’s trigger.

Brief memories flashed through her mind: Their first kiss, their first fight, the first time they made love, hitting Shaw across the head with a two by four, Chuck’s proposal, falling ill to the Norseman Virus, marrying Chuck on their wedding day, talking of their future.

“Chuck, you're a gift. You're a gift I never dreamed I could want or need. And every day I will show you that you're a gift that I deserve. You make me the best person I could ever hope to be. And I want to spend, and learn, and love the rest of my life with you. “

“Sarah, you're the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. You're smart, beautiful, you laugh at all my stupid jokes and have a horrible habit of always saving my life. The truth is, you're everything that I thought I ever wanted and more.”
And Sarah remembered.

She loved Chuck Bartowski and she always would. Nothing, not even losing her memories could have changed that. He was her future and she wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of her life, learning and loving him.


Fanfic: Pulling her back from the edge

Pairing: Damon/Elena, Stefan/Elena, Matt and Elena, friendship

AU World and Universe: Vampire Diaries, season 3 

Description: After a hard day between being grilled for the town murders, Alaric’s time in jail, and Meredith’s evil schemes, Elena confesses her feelings for Stefan and Damon to Matt Donovan, her ex-boyfriend. Can he accept her moving on with the Salvatore brothers or will Matt never be able to move on?

"Because when I drag my brother from the edge and deliver him back to you, I want you to remember the things you felt while he was gone.”

“Why is it suddenly so important for everyone to keep me in check, Elena?”

“Because I don’t want you to be what other people think you are!”

“I shouldn’t have left. I promise you, I will never leave you again.”

“I think you’re going to be the one to save him from himself. It won’t be because he loves me, it’ll be because he loves you, Damon.”

 “We’re never going to get Stefan back, you know that, right?”

“Then we’ll let him go, okay? We’ll let him go.”

“Go to hell, Stefan.”

“How could you? My parents died going over this bridge! I almost died. You knew that. You’re the one who saved me. After everything, that’s what mattered? Killing Klaus? Is that what you’re doing? Trying to make me hate you?”

“I really don’t care what you think about me anymore, Elena.”

“I won’t love a ghost for the rest of my life.”

“You had me, Stefan!”

“Destroying Klaus is all I have left. I lost you the minute I left town with him. You just haven’t admitted it to yourself yet.”

“You can’t kiss me, anymore.”

 “I know. It’s right. It’s just not right now.”

 “I’m mad at you because I love you!”

“Maybe that’s the problem.”

“I care about you, Damon...I do, but I love Stefan it’ll always be Stefan.”
“We kissed and now it’s weird.”

“I kissed Damon, and I’m not telling you because I feel guilty about it. I’m telling you because I feel guilty that you don’t know.”

 “Just say it.”

Elena met Matt Donovan’s eyes across the table. 

Matt shook his head. “I just don’t get your thing with them.”

“I know it doesn’t make sense, but at the beginning after my parent’s died....” She hesitated, her hands curving around the warm mug of freshly brewed coffee—“there was something about being with Stefan that just felt safe.”

Elena’s mind drifted back to moments prior to this conversation, when she had found Stefan in the alley, a blood and ravaged mess, looking at her with all the pain of being unable to resist the urges of human blood. 

And Damon, calm, but tense, telling her that he had things under control, that it was only an experiment, but his eyes told a different story. She knew he wasn’t completely sure if Stefan could be brought back from the edge, and return to normal. 

If Elena was honest with herself, she’d realize that she wasn’t sure if it was possible either. After all he’d almost driven her off Wickery Bridge where her parents died and then he’d tasted more human blood and blatantly told her, that he no longer wanted to feel, because of all the pain it brought. 

Then there was her reliable, supportive, and ever-devoted ex-boyfriend, Matt, gently taking her by the shoulders and half-supporting, half-dragging her from the bloody sight of her second ex-boyfriend, Stefan Salvatore.

She was pretty sure that Stefan going off the rails, refusing to feel even his love for her, telling her he didn’t want her was considered a break-up even if not put in words, but rather actions.

Matt scoffed, disbelieving. “Elena, he’s a vampire!”

“I know, believe me, saying it aloud sounds crazy, but...it’s like I knew that he would never stop loving me.” Tears formed in Elena’s eyes. “Like he would never...”

“What?” Matt demanded.

“Die,” Elena said, her deepest worry of losing everyone she loved resurfacing, “Like he would never die.”

“Like your parents did.”

Elena nodded, her dark hair shadowing her face.

Pieces of Elena’s story were finally making sense to Matt, the reasons she had fallen in love with Stefan instead of Matt were clear. Matt would’ve died like her parents someday and Elena couldn’t risk that. 

She couldn’t risk losing another person she loved...so she turned to the immortal, younger Salvatore brother, who would never die like the others, and somehow along the way she had fallen for Damon, the elder Salvatore brother as well.

Matt, reluctantly posed his next question, mild curiosity plaguing him. “And Damon?”

Elena lifted her face up to the sky, as if wondering how she could possibly explain her feelings for Damon, when they were so complex that she almost didn’t understand them herself. 

Damon just sort of snuck up on me...” she admitted, “He got under my skin and no matter what I do...I can’t shake him.”

Her earlier words came back to haunt her, “I mean it, Damon. I don’t know what I’d do if you weren’t here.”

Only to crush his heart and break what little friendship they had going, with, “Maybe that’s the problem.” As if Damon loving her was a burden, something she didn’t want.

For the first time, Elena didn’t know what she wanted, whether she could handle Damon loving her, explosively and passionately, as he had Katherine, if not more so. 

As if realizing for the first time that she was talking to her ex-boyfriend about her love life, Elena tilted her head, searched his eyes for any sign of Matt shying away from her and her complicated love life.

“Once you fall in love with someone, I don’t think you can ever shake them.”
Matt said, rubbing the back of his neck, with his free hand.

 It was the truth, he had fallen in love with Elena, and she had continued to be in his life, even when he was with Caroline.

 But he never fully shook off the love he had for her, it always stayed, preventing him from truly moving on with someone as amazing as he deserved.

And yet here he was being her source of stability and strength, someone for her to talk to without judgment. 

“Matt, I’m sorry is this weird?” she questioned.

Matt merely looked at her.

“Talking about them with you,” Elena elaborated.

“No, not really,” Matt said, surprised by his own answer. 

Then he grinned, the same grin that Elena had once fallen in love with, the one that hinted at mystery and charm that had started their relationship and ended it, with Stefan coming into the picture.

“I got you something,” The ex-football star revealed, reaching into his back pack and pulling out the leather-bound journal of Samantha Gilbert. 

“The journal?” Elena breathed.

 To say she was impressed wasn’t an understatement.

“It’s your family’s, you should have it.” 

She looked him with her eyebrows raised, posing a silent question: how did you get it?

Matt scratched the back of his head, downplayed his heroics. “Meredith and that idiot deputy were too busy questioning you to give a damn about me.”

Elena flipped through her ancestor’s journal, awe plain on her lovely features.
For a single moment, Matt forgot about the fact that he had moved on, and almost brushed the hair back tenderly from her face. 

But then, the realization that they broke up and moved on hit him. Elena had moved on with Stefan and Damon, and he had tried to love Caroline, lost her to Tyler and his own jealousy, and then dated an original named Rebekah, who was fun, cool, and almost convinced him she was a normal girl—until her brother, Kohl, tried to snap his neck.

That proves how normal his life really was, he still had to deal with vampires, and he had broken up with Caroline for reasons that no longer made sense. So yes, Matt lived in normalcy and oblivion, unless you counted Caroline, Damon, Stefan and the originals flooding the town of Mystic Falls, including Klaus, Rebekah, and Elijah himself.

 “Sometimes it pays to be the only normal one in a town of vampires. I’m practically invisible,” Matt added.

Elena chuckled.

They stayed like that at her kitchen table in the empty house that once held the comforting presence of her parents, Jeremy and Jenna. The ghost of the past lingering as the two old friends talked long into the night.

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